Ladies, Don’t Marry A ‘Nice Guy’.

Sometime ago, I met a nice guy. Actually, he wasn’t just nice. He was very handsome, tall and fair! He came from a wealthy family and had one of the top positions at school. When he asked me out, I wasn’t enthused about it. Yes, he “he had it all” but I wasn’t really looking for a nice guy.

Of course, nice things are good, right? There’s nothing wrong with someone being handsome or beautiful, being rich or affluent but for someone who is serious about settling down with another soul for a lifetime, the standards should not end with “He’s nice”.

The world has evolved and it seems our view on what love is has also taken a 360 degree definition! We make permanent decisions based on temporal emotional flings. He seems to do all the ‘nice stuffs’ and so we get on cloud nine and conclude they must be ‘Mr Right’ and boom! We are head over heels in love!

You are blinded on how he mistreats his mother and sister. How he flirts with everyone in skirt and blatantly disrespect you in subtle ways. How he is uncomfortable with any idea of God among others.

Very often, our items on the checklist for considering a suitor are shallow. We tick off his ability to sweep off our feet with ‘sweet nothings’, the attractive biceps, the loaded bank account and their accolades. In fact, can I be blunt and say that if that is your checklist then you are headed for destruction?

Many are trapped in loveless marriages because they sought a ‘nice guy’. So beyond being nice, what should you be looking out for?

If you are Christian, you may be aware of the leadership role God has entrusted the man with- to lead the home ( Ephesians 5:23). A man’s ability to lead diligently is what sets him apart from someone who is just playing nice. The visionary man knows where he is going, how he wants to get there, and ultimately how he wants to lead his family. He is decisive and his persistence and perseverance in securing a stable home is noteworthy. He may be wealthy or not so much ‘loaded’ but during the journey of courtship, you are not left wondering where he is heading or where the relationship is heading. A nice man may lay a blueprint for the future but he is the epitome of ‘jack of all trades but master of none’. Get insight and look beyond his niceness. What are his decision-making skills telling you? What kind of legacy does he want to leave behind for his generation? Is he walking the talk?

How is relationship with God or his overall spiritual life? What does he believe? Be aware that his beliefs may have a great influence in how your kids are raised and ultimately the kind of home the family will have.

Do not just settle for a nice man. But here’s another truth, while you look out for that purposeful man, have a retrospection too! Are you a ‘nice lady’? or is there more to your perfect contouring and eyebrow?

Committing yourself to another for a lifetime is serious business. Be wise in this pursuit!

Have a blessed weekend.