An amazing testimony.

I grew up in a family of believers:

·         They believe that God is alive.

·         They go to church every Sunday to worship and praise God.

·         They pray and believe that God answers their prayers.

·         BUT they have not found the true Gospel of Jesus Christ.

I HAVE WITNESSED THE POWER OF GOD. I was only 14 years old when my mother was reported sick. At that time I was staying in the Eastern Cape, looking after my disable aunt and her new born baby. I overheard my aunt speaking on the phone, about how bad the condition of my mother was at the hospital, after the call she never told me anything. I was in bed, I cried so hard that night and I asked the Lord to help my mother to live. I am sure he did because few days later my mother’s condition was getting better.

At the back of my mind I grew up knowing there is God but I was clueless in how I can build a relationship with him. My first attempt was to visit various churches around where I stayed but none of them provided me with what I was looking for (relationship with the Lord). I realised if the church was not worshiping prosperity and wealth, then the focus would be on what one should do in order to enter the Kingdom of God, I failed to understand how this can help me in building a relationship with God and I gave up in looking for church. I continued living my life without a church community.  Nonetheless I want to believe that God gave me a gift of wisdom, because I could distinguish between right and wrong, I was still able to pray through difficult time and God was answering my prayers, I believe.

It was 2014 when I came across Student Y Christian Organisation at Piazza,CPUT Cape Town campus. What draw my attention to them, I was hungry and they had muffins on their table, so in order for me to get one muffin I had to sign up a form which I presume was a membership form. I started receiving updates about upcoming events of the Y and there was a girl in my class who was an active member of the Y, she convinced me to come one day to their Friday night Y and she never mentioned anything about the bible study. From my surprise even on this day there was food, I liked the idea of coming here and eat, I became more than willing in becoming a member of Student Y because seemingly all their gatherings have food. HahaJ!

Just a brief explanation why I was always delighted when I saw there was food. When I took a decision of coming to university to pursue my studies in 2012 after passing my matric in 2010, everyone at home was against me, particularly my mother. It frightened everyone because they witnessed the struggle and pain that my older sister went through when she first came and she never finished her qualification because of financial crisis. They knew it was going to be impossible even for me to, they were not going to be able to sustain my living expenses as a university student (my sister was a living example). There was no registration money, no text books money, no transportation money, absolutely nothing, because no one was working expect for me who was working in a construction site in order to put food in the table. I understood my mother, I understood why she was so terrified when she heard I want to come to university not because she did not want me to pursue my dreams but because she knew she would not stand to see her second child suffering in front of her eyes helplessly and no one was going to look after them when I leave my construction job.

As optimistic and hard headed as I am, I forced matters, I applied in CPUT and I was accepted, 2 years of not studying after passing my matric was enough.  I found people who were willing to pay for my registration fee, I hustle for school accommodation in order to save transportation cost and to be away from my family so that they could not me suffer and I found a place. I applied for Financial Aid assistance and I was fortunate to receive a three years fully funded government bursary through NSFAS and I completed my National Diploma qualification in 2015. I am currently completing my Bachelor’s Degree and in God’s grace I believe I will receive funding.

Coming back to where I was, I felt welcomed by Student Y family and I kept visiting their office during lunch time for bible studies, I made friends and Friday night Y became my regular thing to do. However my life was more of a struggle because I was still on my own, although it was not really that much of a struggle because I had a boyfriend that would rather suffer than to see me struggling. I did not like the idea of being my boyfriend’s burden although he never complained about anything. So one day I decided to write a very long email to Rob and John seeking for help, I made my situation sound very intense, I even exaggerated other parts, I said: I was becoming more of a prostitute and I felt like I had to please my boyfriend because he buys me food and other stuff, that was not the case at all. Fortunately they took it very serious, few days later Rob gave me a food parcel. I received food parcels two times, at this time I was more involve in Student Y. Through my involvement I experienced a glimpse of what it means to have a relationship with God, and I was introduced to Jesus Christ. As I kept hearing from the word of God my eyes were opening and my heart felt rebuked day by day. I remember exactly the day when I opened my heart for Jesus Christ. I was at the mission trip at Uyesu Nathi in Khayelitsha during June school holiday. On that day I made a silent commitment to Christ and I said: I want to know him, I want to follow him, I want to live for him and I need his help in order to achieve this.

I experienced a quick transition in my life, although it was not complete. I started having problems with my boyfriend: I was paying less attention to him, I started asking him about his intentions for me and about the questions of faith. I suggested starting over our relationship and do it the right way (God pleasing way- if there was any). He started doubting my love for him, he accused me of cheating, and our relationship became very unhealthy. Maybe he was right, I was cheating but with Jesus. After some couple of days, It bothered me, I could not bear seeing my boyfriend hurting because of the choice I have made, I thought of what he has been to me, how he has help me through thick and thin and the role he played in my life that my family failed to play. I started resisting Jesus Christ in my life, I wanted to honour him but with my boyfriend on the side. It became very difficult because the word of God was rebuking me and the guilt was too heavy to handle then I decided to spend less time reading my bible and coming to Student Y.

Weeks and days passed but the guilt was still within me, I kept remembering the commitment I have made. On this day I prayed, and I said “Jesus Christ I really want to follow you but what I cannot stand is the cost to follow you, I cannot leave my boyfriend after everything he has done for me. But I do promise when death do us apart I will fulfill my commitment”. After that prayer my heart felt so light, things went back to normal in my relationship, we were happy once again with my boyfriend. We embraced having each other around and spending time together, we talked about future, and we planned to visit his entire family in East London, Eastern Cape during December holidays so that he may introduce me. Our relationship was so perfect, we were both very happy and content and my heart was filled with joy. I knew there was something wrong with this but at that moment everything felt so right. I forgot about God, everything was about my boyfriend and our relationship; I did not seek him, praise him or glorify him and I completely forgot about his existence. I never knew all this joy, acceptance, love and contentment was a temporal feeling.

My boyfriend updated a Facebook status quoted from Matthew 10:28 “Do not be afraid of those who want to kill your body, fear only God who can destroy both body and soul in hell”.  A month later he died, he was mugged at night in Khayelitsha he got shot and died on the spot. His death date was on the 6^th of October 2014, the time we planned to visit his family was the time I went alone to attend his funeral. I was extremely devastated, how I passed my final year exams that year only God knows. I thought of committing suicide many times to follow him. People kept sending condolence messages but at that moment they were meaningless, I felt like the world has shut doors and turned against me. I was a loner, I felt completely empty, I felt like everybody was laughing at me, knowing exactly how happy I was in my relationship.

Months, weeks and days passed and I was getting used to the pain, while I was playing with my phone I opened my inbox massages and I came across all the condolence massages that people sent and I read them one by one. To my surprise they were all pointing me to Christ, some were saying ‘God knew this day was coming’, some were ‘telling me not question God’s will’, some were ‘telling me to pray for strength to deal with the pain of loss’. Once again I was reminded about my friend Christ. I woke up and I kneeled in front of my bed, I tried to pray but the words were not coming out of my mouth, on that day I cried so hard the pain was very sharp and strong. I kept trying to pray and I noticed each day was getting better. I felt so lonely so I went back to Student Y, I became more involve at Holy Trinity church, and I was getting better and better as I hear the word of God.

As time went by, I remembered that I once made a commitment to Christ and that the time has arrived for me to live by my promise. Suddenly everything in my life made sense “if you have ever played a puzzle for a very long time and you struggled so much to arrange the pieces together and you finally manage to arrange them”  that is exactly how all the events that have happened in my life made sense. When I first came to Student Y I was brought by hunger, but I have noticed that in fact I was not really hungry for food literally but for the word of God (remember I once tried looking for ways to build a relationship with God but I never succeeded because I didn’t know Christ at that time). My situation at home has not yet changed, I am still my own responsibility but I am not hungry anymore. I live my life with hope, love, joy and peace in Jesus Christ and it is so much better than that of Wonga (my boyfriend).

Through my relationship with Wonga, firstly I realised that it was impossible to commit to Christ alone and serve him while having an intense intimate relationship outside marriage (being involve in sexual immorality). Friendships are good, if the intentions are to glorify and serve God and they are encouraged by God. Secondly, I noticed that it is very easy to fall under trap of sins particular for unmarried people, because everyone is busy looking for love, perfection, acceptance, affection, security and more. Looking for something like what we had with God before The Fall and all these things seem quite possible through dating relationships. Although we get temporal pleasures that will not last forever, they will leave us empty and disappointed when our relationships fall apart. It is only through Jesus Christ that we can receive completeness in our lives, no boyfriends, girlfriends, parents or anyone but Christ alone who can make it possible. Thirdly, some people go to church or become involve in Christian community to find a good husband, wife, girlfriend or boyfriend but the reality is: while you are busy trying to find identify the significant one, Jesus Christ will pass right under your nose.

One common biggest mistake that usually we do as youngsters, particularly young Christians we think Christianity is a title. Christians are observed clean by our societies and many of us get involve in order to belong to that category of clean people, we hide our relationships and the struggles of our temptations because we think they make us unclean according to our society beliefs but the reality is: we are all sinners just like anybody else, the only difference is that we are forgiven sinners, let us not be foolish and think that God cannot see our thoughts and deeds, no matter how good we can hide sinful things we do from our pastors, Christian leaders, parents, family and friends we cannot hide them from God. Evil is very eye pleasing, convincing and tempting, let us not make decisions based on our temporal feelings of sinful nature. God must be the centre of every decision we take in our lives. God is bigger than anything and anyone in this world, many more people have seen and witnessed his power, he keeps his word and he is very faithful. I pray to God that may you also manage to find all the pieces of your life puzzle through God’s grace. Amen.

MARANATHA

Ziyanda Gova.